avery point

I often think of Avery Point 
the place that remembers many of my stories 

often it was too beautiful and otherworldly
it made me question myself 
what have I done to deserve to see this

and it made me realize that
I still don't get it 

that it isn't because 
I did something to deserve to see the beauty

but because God is good

so when I encounter another beauty 
I stop asking
but simply give thanks

이렇게

이우정 신원호 표 신파에 매번 낚이는 건
아무래도 연구 대상이다
응답하라 시리즈로 시작해서슬기로운 시리즈까지
나는 매 회 울고 웃으며 매번 그들의 손맛에 놀아난다는 느낌이다
때론 과하다 싶은 감정씬에 머리가 띵할 정도로 눈물을 쏟아도 
그 가장 기본적이면서도 
가장 깊은 곳에 있는 진한 감정과 대면할 때의 뜨거움
그 중독성은 거부하기 어려운 매력이 있다
게다가 등장인물들의 하나같이 짠한 사연들에 말려들면
어느 순간 얘들이 다 내 친구 같고 가족 같아서
막 생각나고 그리워지게 된다
그들의 신파에는
말하기 어려운 진심을 수줍게 꺼내 보이는 순수함이 있고
아무도 편들지 않는 사람의 편이 되어 주는 용기가 있고
무조건 나를 응원하는 친구가 있고
복잡한 갈등 가운데도 묵묵히 지켜주는 가족이 있고
사람들의 기대치를 충족시키기 위한 소소한 양념인 로맨스가 있고
세상을 대표하는 악당들이 있고
그들을 물리치고 이겨내는 권선징악에 대한 판타지가 있다60분 정도의 시간을 들여 
이렇게 뜨겁고 깊은 것들과 대면할 수 있다면
난 아마도 그들의 신파에 계속 낚이게 될 것 같다
그것도 기꺼이 

self-compassion break

Kristin Neff and Chris Germer have been my teachers of mindful self-compassion practice. 

Their week-long program at Kripalu was life-giving and transforming. 

I often use their practices in various settings 

and here's the one I think is simple and captures the essence of mindful self-compassion.

As we walk through this unusual and trying time with COVID-19, 

this is one of the ways to cope with the anxious moments we may encounter during the day. 

Will Barnet "Infinite" (1975-1976, Oil on Canvas)

Farnsworth Art Museum, Rockland, ME

Self-Compassion Break

When you notice that you’re feeling stress or emotional discomfort, 

see if you can find the discomfort in your body. 

Where do you feel it the most? 

Make contact with the sensations as they arise in your body. 

Then simply recognize it mindfully by saying to yourself, slowly:

     “This is a moment of suffering” You may also say something like:

     "This hurts."

     "Ouch!"

     "This is stressful."

Then recognize what you are experiencing is part of common humanity by saying:

     “Suffering is a part of life” You may also say something like: 

     "I’m not alone. Others are just like me."

     "We all struggle in our lives"

     "This is how it feels when a person struggles in this way"

Then put your hands over your heart, or wherever it feels soothing, feeling the warmth and gentle touch of your hands. Say to yourself:

      “May I be kind to myself,” or another way of saying this is,

      “May I give myself what I need.”

      "May I accept myself as I am"

      "May I learn to accept myself as I am"

      "May I forgive myself"

      "May I be strong"

      "May I be patient"

      "May I live in love"

If you’re having difficulty finding the right words, 

imagine that a dear friend or loved one is having the same problem as you. 

What would you say to this person? 

If your friend would leave with just a few words in mind, 

what would you like those words to be? 

What message would you like to deliver, heart to heart? 

Now see if you can offer the same message to yourself.

Center for Mindful Self-Compassion https://centerformsc.org/

personal and relational

after a long walk 

on our way to get ice cream

we encountered the setting sun

while listening to the song 

"...You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name. 
You are amazing God..."

I at times become concerned if the faith of my sons in their 20s
incline to a branch of Christianity
where there is too much emphasis on 
the personal relationship with God

a moment like this makes me realize
it was my own overthinking
for this very presence we encountered
is nothing but the personal and relational God
in fact
the same God I encountered in my 20s



Chris Tomlin "Indescribable"

broken heart

When a Jewish rabbi taught God's wisdom and prayers 

he always said, "put them on your hearts." 

One day a student asked him, 

"Why do you say to put them on our hearts, not in our hearts?" 

The rabbi answered 

"All you can do now is to put them on your heart. 

And one day when your heart is broken 

by the grace of God, it will open 

and they will fall in your heart." 
(excerpt from "lamp in the darkness" by Jack Kornfield)

There's something about 

broken-heartedness 

woundedness 

scars

that is sacred

There's something about them

 make us whole

 create new and another beautiful pattern

when by the grace of God, 

they are embraced 

and integrated into us

There's so much wisdom in what the Psalmist says,

The sacrifice acceptable to God is a broken spirit;

God will not despise a broken and contrite heart (Psalm 31:17)

and in what Paul says,

 It is in our imperfection 

God's power is perfected (2 Cor. 12:9)

While journeying in this world of imperfection

 as an imperfect human being

we often are vulnerable, 

wounded 

scarred

broken-hearted
When that happens 

all we can do is 
to lean our head slightly  

against the shoulder of the One 

who sits beside us 

with an ever-ready listening heart

 with a never-ending song of grace   

offering a gentle touch of soul massage 

with the healing balm of celestial fragrance

breathing along in our rhythm and pace

bringing us back 

to

.

.

.

.

.

 Love

Timber Point

One of the blessings 

I am selfishly grateful for lately is 

having my sons at home

Even though we all work during the day in our separate spaces, 

we take advantage of the early evening 

cooking together or 

taking a walk

Many people told me 

how beautiful Timber Point is and 

we finally went there one evening 

As the tide began to rise 

they walked to the Island and 

on the way back, got their feet wet 

They thought it was pretty cool 

(both figuratively and literally) 

For me, 

while staying safe and dry

it was another memorable day

experiencing God

getting something unexpected and 

realizing you're in someone's thoughts and

 that someone cared enough to let you know 

start a sensation like electricity 

flowing from your heart to the entire body

the same place for 

love

gratitude 

deep peace

is touched and

you smile with teary eyes

although the moment doesn't last long

it leaves a mark that will never be forgotten

you can always go back to reopen the card and 

stay there a little while until the sensation comes back

this is how you experience 

God

the Love