rows of saints

I walked on the labyrinth to get some clarity.

While breathing, walking, and thinking,

I was also on a mission—

looking for the stone Ada gave in memory of John.

Although I was thinking hard and searching hard

Clarity didn’t come to me,

Nor did John’s stone.

Some walks are like that.

As I was about to walkout

accepting that my search was unsuccessful,

a stone in the entrance caught my eyes.

At first, it looked smaller than I imagined.

But when I pulled up the pictures, sure enough, it was John’s stone!

I was so happy and texted Ada with the picture and location.

After the excitement

I decided to walk again

realizing searching hard didn’t make me find the stone.

Rather it was accepting my unsuccessful search 

and letting go of my desire to find it.

So the second time I tried to let go of my thoughts and desire for clarity

and let the natural rhythm of walking into mystery take over.

As I reach the center I sat on the rock,

closed my eyes to feel God’s presence.

When I opened my eyes,

all of a sudden, I felt like the stones were looking at me

almost like rows of people sitting in the pews.

(have to admit, I do miss seeing rows of people in the sanctuary)

I felt like I was surrounded by rows of the saints

protecting me and standing up for me

so that nothing can get in the way between me and God.

It wasn’t the kind of clarity I was looking for,

but it couldn’t get any clearer and sharper than that.

Next time I walk, 

I will think less and trust more.

energy from the rocks

as the first full moon labyrinth walk was canceled due to weather

I went to Conservation Trust to walk on the labyrinth for the first time.

As I entered into the mystery of the new and unfamiliar path 

I recognized that this labyrinth has different energy 

because of the stones

brought in memory of loved ones by families. 

The stones welcomed me 

as if they were eager to tell me their stories--

the stones that survived the wind and rain for many years,

the stones that carry the stories of the saints,

the stones as heavy as the pain of grief, 

the stones as precious as the memories and blessings they left behind, 

the stones connected to each other 

as if they are holding hands together to create a path 

that will lead people to wholeness and centeredness.

I walked in drained and exhausted

and walked out a bit more balanced with clarity and equanimity.

I put my hands together and bowed deeply

to the rocks and the saints they represent and all who made it possible.

Most of all, to God who led me to be there,

where, as Thich Nhat Hanh said, I arrived.

I miss the energy already.