Marginal Way, Ogunquit
It was interesting
As I walked this beautiful place
with the rocks and ocean rising high
Sidat came to my mind.
Someone who had a deep spiritual connection with God
so wise and so simple
my colleague and my spiritual director
who died by letting himself go over the rocks into a fall,
the fall he loved so much.
It happened while I was remotely connected with him
and I was puzzled by what he had in mind.
Something I would never be able to comprehend
but at the same time
I accepted and respected.
I mourned not so much for him
because I believed he's where he wanted to be
but for the world for the loss of a beautiful soul mirroring God.
"That's a good place to be"
he always said to me with deep affection
whenever I shared my trouble.
I always shook my head asking him not to say that.
Then we both laughed together.
Although we hate to be where it hurts
that's exactly where we need to be
to look into the deep truth about ourselves.
The truth hurts
at the same time
the truth sets us free.
He said to me one day
"I am like a dandelion seed.
I will be here today
and when the wind blows
I may be gone tomorrow."
Just like that,
he's gone
with no attachment to anyone or anything,
just the way he lived and he taught.
I look at myself
and recognize how far away I am
from being truly free
wondering what more truths about myself
need to be discovered,
and at the end of my spiritual journey
where I would be
if I would understand him.
The answer is
"I do not know."
The answer is
"I do not know."
All I know today is
I'm still on this journey of mystery.
