pre Easter reflection

roll away the stone

whatever that stone might be

pea under your bed

pebble in your sock

that annoys your entire being

making you lose sleep

reminding you it's there

truth is 

God already rolled it away and is waiting for us to see the light

maybe life is

Maybe life is

walking on the beach

with pebbles, shells, sea glass, seaweeds, and lots of sand

we never know what we may find

and if we give enough attention 

we may learn a lesson or two

and if we take enough time to study

we may realize that we are also one of them

 

present in future perspective

While I was walking on the beach the words came to my heart.

"Someday your body will be unstable and your mind not be as sharp as it is now

you will remember the day you walked on this beach 

and how I poured out my words and love to you 

and how beautiful it was."

I started thinking of the present moment 

from the perspective of the future.

I realized

This moment is not only to be savored here and now

but also to be treasured for tomorrow's reminiscence. 

a rock

a rock

holding a mountain

 

banquet by the sea

everyday I see the banquet offered by the sea

the wave looks like a huge tablecloth

fresh, ironed, float in the air

and gently laid on the table

to prepare a party

that excitement

that anticipation

that abundance

that generosity

was what was offered to me

by the ocean

by the mercy and grace of God

 

invitation

look outside and see 

how vast my creation is

It is created for you 

to know my love

all of them live by the order I created 

and you 

also live by the order I created you

that is love

silent retreat

I love the silence between the waves

silence is also the work of the waves

they retreat to resurge

pushing the current back to the shore

to make the sound and movement

it truly is 

silent retreat

to come back fully charged

watercolor paintings

literally, 

water painted colors on the rocks

and they were beautiful 

 

I thought I was

walking gently and quietly
but it startled the family of ducks
made them feel unsafe
and float away. 
I'm so sorry, I bowed
next time 
I will try to be quieter and gentler
so you won't be disturbed
by my walk next to your house 

wash away

wash away O God wash away
and let me not remember
who I thought I was

I now know who I am 
more clearly than ever 
I was known to you
even before I came into a being, 

called to be a human, 
you knew me and beheld my unformed being
that crystal
handcrafted by you 
to make me who I am
that no one or nothing 
can contaminate or ruin

I know now

so wash away 

all the ways I contaminated myself
with the view of the world and others
not coming from you
I clearly do not want to be 

anything other than 
that crystal 

you installed in me. 

EPRH

I thought I came here to prepare for Lent and Easter

never imagined I would live through Lent and Easter. 

I realize 

baptism is washing away who I thought I was

dying on the cross is letting go of what I am not

resurrection is being born to who God created me to be

After 60 years of life 

I finally got to know 

what it means to be 

I am who I am. 

Now I need to live it. 

still with you

 

Maybe it comes naturally for others

to love and to be loved.

Not for me.

I don’t trust others,

or feel safe with others easily.

I’m afraid of being attached to others.

Nevertheless

I am still with you.

 

Once I escaped from you

burden of your expectations

rigid demand of obedience

fear of harsh punishment

I wanted to go as far as I could.

Yet

you came

to meet me

clearing all my misunderstandings and false imaginations

proving your unconditional love for me

telling me

all you want from me is

to love you back and to love myself as you do.

That’s why I am still with you.

 

And I know one day

I come to the end

again I will say

I am still with you.

Reflection on Psalm 139:18b